The Jaded Pen

• After Much Research, Experimentation, And Consideration, I Have Decided Adulthood Is Not For Me. Thank You For The Opportunity.
• Best. Golf. Coach. Ever.
• I Enjoy A Glass Of Wine Each Night For It's Health Benefits. The Other Glasses Are For My Witty Comebacks And Flawless Dance Moves.
• If I Ever Go Missing, I Would Like My Photo Put On Wine Bottles Instead Of Milk Cartons. That Way My Friends Will Know To Look For Me.
• Best. Basketball. Coach. Ever
• Best. Soccer. Coach. Ever
• Best. Softball. Coach. Ever
• Best. Tennis. Coach. Ever
• Best. Volleyball. Coach. Ever