Book Clubs for Couples: How Shared Reading Strengthens Relationships

The Date Night We Didn't Expect

James: We'd been together three years and had fallen into the Netflix trap. Every night, scrolling for something we both wanted to watch, settling for something neither of us loved, staring at screens together but not really connecting.

Maya: Then one weekend, we both happened to be reading. James was on the couch with a thriller; I was in bed with a memoir. And we started talking about our books, explaining the plots, sharing what we liked. It was the best conversation we'd had in weeks.

James: That's when Maya suggested we read the same book and discuss it, like a mini book club. Just the two of us.

Honestly? I thought it sounded like homework. But I agreed to try it.

Why It Works for Couples

Shared reading offers something unique:

Structured quality time. You're both engaged with the same material, which creates built-in conversation topics.

New perspectives on each other. How your partner interprets a character reveals things about how they think.

Neutral ground for difficult topics. Fiction lets you discuss ethics, relationships, and values through story, not personal history.

Intellectual intimacy. Beyond physical and emotional connection, this nurtures mental connection.

An activity for different energy levels. Too tired to go out? Reading side by side works. Want active engagement? Discuss what you've read.

Getting Started

Agreeing on What to Read

This can be the hardest part if your tastes differ.

Maya: James only read thrillers. I preferred literary fiction. We had to find middle ground.

James: We started with a book that had mystery elements but strong character development—"The Silent Patient." Psychological enough for Maya, page-turner enough for me.

Strategies for picking together:

• Alternate who chooses
• Find books that blend your genres
• Each propose three, pick from the combined list
• Start with widely acclaimed books that bridge tastes
• Try books neither of you would normally pick

Setting a Pace

Decide how you'll read:

• Same chapters at the same time (prevents spoilers)
• Race to finish first and wait to discuss
• Daily check-ins: "Where are you?"
• Set milestones: "Let's both finish Part 1 by Thursday"

Maya: We ended up doing "section discussions"—discussing every 3-4 chapters rather than waiting until the end. More fun, and we stayed in sync.

When and How to Discuss

Dedicated time: Make it intentional. Post-dinner conversation, weekend morning coffee, long walks.

Car trips: Perfect for book discussion. No screens, captive audience.

Before bed: Replace scrolling with ten minutes of "What are you thinking about the book?"

Making Discussions Interesting

Avoid Interrogation

Bad: "What did you think about chapter 5?" "It was fine."

Better: Start with your own observation: "I couldn't believe the twist in chapter 5. Did you see it coming?"

Explore Differences

You'll sometimes disagree about characters, pacing, or themes. That's the good part.

James: Maya hated a character I loved. Understanding her perspective taught me something about how she sees responsibility and blame. These differences lead to real conversations about values.

Connect to Your Life

Use the book as a jumping-off point:

• "That scene with the parents—does that remind you of my family at all?"
• "Would we survive something like what these characters went through?"
• "If we were in that situation, what would you want me to do?"

Laugh Together

Not every discussion has to be deep. "How absurd was that plot twist?" is a valid topic.

Books That Work for Couples

Books that spark good couple discussions often feature:

• Relationships at their center
• Moral ambiguity
• Multiple perspectives
• Some level of tension or conflict

Some recommendations:

• Normal People by Sally Rooney (communication in relationships)
• Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens (isolation, nature, mystery)
• The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (love, secrets, choices)
• Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (humanity, second chances)
• Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (relationships, secrets)
• The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (romance, neurodiversity)

When You Disagree About Books

Maya: Some books, one of us loves and one of us doesn't. That's okay.

James: I hated a book Maya adored. But talking about WHY I hated it—and why she connected with it—was actually a great conversation.

Tips for navigating different reactions:

• Respect that someone's experience is valid even if different from yours
• Ask questions instead of arguing
• It's okay to agree to disagree
• You don't have to like the same books to enjoy reading together

Expanding Your Couple Book Club

After a few books, consider:

• Joining a larger group together for some books
• Connecting with other couple readers
• Tackling more challenging works together
• Adding audiobooks for road trips

The Unexpected Benefits

James: Reading together made us better communicators overall. We had practice having nuanced discussions about complex topics. Those skills transferred.

Maya: It's also just time we spend together that isn't passive. We're not just consuming; we're actively engaging together.

James: Plus, I read more now than I have in years. The accountability helps.

Maya: And I've discovered genres I would have never tried on my own. James picked a fantasy series I'm now obsessed with.

Start Tonight

You don't need a grand plan. Just:

1. Pick a book you're both curious about
2. Start reading at the same time
3. Talk about it

That's a couple's book club. Everything else—schedules, discussion questions, pace—you figure out as you go.

Looking for book ideas for you and your partner? Readfeed's platform makes it easy to track what you're reading together and find discussion prompts for any book. Your relationship is about to get more interesting.