Book Club Rules: The Complete Guide to Setting Expectations

Why Do Book Clubs Need Rules?

Every successful book club operates on a shared set of expectations. Rules don't make a club rigid—they prevent the misunderstandings and frustrations that cause groups to fall apart. According to a 2023 survey by BookBrowse, the top three reasons book clubs disband are: inconsistent attendance (cited by 41% of dissolved clubs), disagreements over book selection (29%), and one or two members dominating discussions (22%). All three are preventable with clear guidelines established early.

The best book club rules are simple, agreed upon collectively, and revisited periodically. They should cover five areas: book selection, meetings, discussions, hosting, and membership. Below is a complete framework you can adapt to your group.

Book Selection Rules

How your club chooses books is the single most important operational decision. Disputes over selection are the second-leading cause of book club attrition, so it's worth getting this right from the start.

Rotation vs. Voting

The two most common methods are:

Rotation: Each member takes a turn choosing the book. This guarantees every person's taste is represented and eliminates arguments about what to read. The downside is that members may not enjoy every selection—but that's actually a feature, not a bug. Exposure to different genres and styles is one of a book club's greatest benefits.

Voting: Members nominate titles and the group votes, typically using a ranked-choice or simple majority system. Voting gives the group collective control but can leave certain members' preferences consistently outnumbered. To prevent this, some clubs adopt a "no repeat genres" rule, ensuring variety even within a democratic system.

Recommended rule: "Book selection rotates monthly among members in alphabetical order. The selecting member presents 2–3 options and the group votes on the final choice. If the selector's top pick doesn't win the vote, they may choose again on their next turn."

Genre and Format Guidelines

Some clubs benefit from loose guidelines on what types of books are eligible:

Length caps: Books should be under 400 pages (or an equivalent for audiobooks) unless the group agrees to extend the reading period.
Availability: The selected book must be available through the public library system, a major retailer, or a digital platform. Rare or out-of-print titles should be pre-approved.
Genre balance: Over any six-month period, the group should read from at least three different genres or categories.
Re-reads: Books that a majority of the group has already read should be avoided unless the group explicitly votes for a re-read.

Veto Rules

Some clubs allow a limited veto:

Hard veto: Any member can veto one book per year, no questions asked. This protects members from content they find genuinely distressing.
Soft veto: A member can raise an objection, and the group discusses whether to proceed. A simple majority decides.
No veto: The selector's choice stands. Members who don't want to read a particular title simply skip that month.

Recommended rule: "Each member may exercise one no-questions-asked veto per calendar year. Beyond that, selections stand as chosen."

Meeting Rules

Consistent, well-run meetings are the backbone of a healthy book club.

Frequency and Duration

Set a consistent cadence: Most clubs meet monthly on a recurring day (e.g., the first Thursday of each month). Consistent scheduling reduces the logistical overhead of finding dates.
Define meeting length: 60–90 minutes is standard. Starting and ending on time respects everyone's schedules.
Cancellation threshold: Establish a minimum attendance for the meeting to proceed. Many clubs use 50% of active members.

Recommended rule: "We meet on the [day] of each month from [time] to [time]. Meetings require at least [number] members present to proceed. If fewer can attend, the meeting is rescheduled to the following week."

Attendance Expectations

This is the most important rule to establish clearly, because inconsistent attendance is the number-one club killer.

RSVP requirement: Members should confirm attendance at least 48 hours before the meeting. Apps like Readfeed automate this with built-in RSVP and reminder features.
Absence policy: Missing an occasional meeting is expected and understood. Missing three consecutive meetings without communication should trigger a friendly check-in from the organizer.
Late arrivals: Meetings start on time regardless of who's present. Latecomers join the discussion in progress.

Recommended rule: "Members RSVP by [day]. If you can't attend, a quick message to the group is appreciated. Three consecutive unexplained absences will prompt a check-in about continued membership."

Punctuality

Start on time: The social warm-up (arriving, chatting, settling in) happens during the first 10 minutes. The formal discussion begins at the scheduled time regardless of attendance.
End on time: If the discussion is running long, the facilitator wraps up and notes any remaining topics for next time.

Discussion Rules

Great discussions require psychological safety—every member needs to feel comfortable sharing their honest opinion, even (especially) when it differs from the majority.

Participation

Everyone speaks: The facilitator ensures that quieter members are invited to share. Techniques include round-robin openers, direct questions, and pausing after each topic to ask "Does anyone else want to add to that?"
No monologues: Individual comments should be concise. A good guideline is to limit uninterrupted remarks to 2–3 minutes.
Active listening: Members put away phones and give their full attention to the speaker. In virtual meetings, cameras on is encouraged.

Recommended rule: "Everyone's perspective is valued. The facilitator will ensure all voices are heard. Please keep individual comments to 2–3 minutes and be mindful of airtime."

Spoiler Policy

Spoilers are a surprisingly common source of tension in book clubs:

During the reading period: Members who finish early should not discuss plot details in the group chat without spoiler warnings.
At the meeting: The facilitator addresses the book chronologically, giving members who didn't finish a chance to participate in early-chapter discussion before later plot points are revealed.
Online discussions: Use spoiler tags, chapter-specific threads, or a platform like Readfeed that supports built-in spoiler controls.

Recommended rule: "No spoilers in the group chat without a clear spoiler warning. At meetings, the facilitator will address the book in order and will warn before discussing the ending."

Respectful Disagreement

Book clubs thrive on diverse opinions, but disagreement must be constructive:

Critique the book, not the reader: "I found the prose overwritten" is fine. "I can't believe you liked that terrible book" is not.
No personal attacks: Disagreements about literary interpretation should never become personal.
Acknowledge subjectivity: Preface opinions with "I felt" or "In my reading" rather than declaring absolute judgments.

Recommended rule: "All opinions about the book are valid. We critique writing, not each other. Phrases like 'I thought' and 'In my experience' help keep discussions constructive."

Hosting Rules

If your club rotates hosting (for in-person meetings), clear expectations prevent resentment and confusion.

Host Duties

Provide the space: Clean, comfortable, and with enough seating for all attendees.
Refreshments: At minimum, offer water and a simple snack. Many clubs adopt a potluck model where everyone brings something.
Ambiance: Arrange seating so everyone can see and hear each other. A circle or semi-circle works better than a row.

Rotation

Equal rotation: Hosting rotates among all members who are willing and able. Members who cannot host (due to space constraints, roommates, etc.) can volunteer for other duties like bringing food or facilitating.
Opting out: It's acceptable to opt out of hosting. Not everyone has a space that accommodates a group. Alternate contributions should be offered.

Virtual Meeting Etiquette

For clubs that meet online:

Camera on: Cameras should be on whenever possible to maintain engagement and personal connection.
Mute when not speaking: Reduces background noise and interruptions.
Stable connection: If your internet is unreliable, consider joining by phone audio as a backup.
Screen sharing: The facilitator may share discussion questions on screen to keep everyone oriented.

Recommended rule: "Hosting rotates among willing members. The host provides the space and basic refreshments. Members who can't host contribute in other ways (bringing food, facilitating, coordinating). For virtual meetings, cameras on and mute when not speaking."

Membership Rules

Joining

Open vs. closed: Decide whether your club accepts new members freely or by invitation only. Both models work; the choice depends on your group's preference for intimacy versus growth.
Trial period: Some clubs allow prospective members to attend 1–2 meetings before committing. This gives both sides a chance to assess fit.
Maximum size: Set a cap. Most clubs function best with 8–12 active members. Beyond 15, discussion quality typically suffers.

Leaving

No hard feelings: Members should feel free to leave without guilt. A simple message to the group is courteous but should not require explanation.
Graceful exits: The organizer should make leaving easy, not awkward. A brief "thanks for being part of the group" message is sufficient.

Conduct

Respect: Treat all members with courtesy, both during and between meetings.
Confidentiality: Personal opinions and stories shared during book club discussions are not shared outside the group.
No unsolicited selling or promotion: Book clubs are not venues for multi-level marketing, political campaigning, or other solicitation.

Recommended rule: "New members join by invitation and attend two meetings before becoming permanent. Active membership is capped at [number]. Members may leave at any time with a brief note to the group. Personal stories shared in club stay in club."

Sample Book Club Charter

Here's a complete, ready-to-use charter that synthesizes the rules above. Adapt it to your group's needs:

[Club Name] Book Club Charter

Purpose: To read and discuss books together in a welcoming, respectful environment.

Membership: Open by invitation. Maximum 12 active members. New members attend two meetings as a trial. Members may leave at any time with a brief note.

Book Selection: Monthly rotation in alphabetical order. The selector presents 2–3 options; the group votes. Books should be under 400 pages and available through libraries or major retailers. Each member may exercise one veto per year.

Meetings: [Day] of each month, [time]–[time]. Location rotates among willing hosts (or virtual via [platform]). Minimum [number] members to proceed. RSVP by [day before]. Meetings start and end on time.

Discussion: The monthly facilitator (same as selector) prepares 8–12 discussion questions. All opinions are welcome. No spoilers without warning. Keep comments to 2–3 minutes. Phones away.

Hosting: Hosts provide space and basic refreshments. Members who can't host contribute food or facilitation. Virtual meetings: cameras on, mute when not speaking.

Confidentiality: What's shared in book club stays in book club.

This charter fits on a single page and covers everything a new member needs to know. Review it annually and update as the group evolves.

How to Introduce Rules Without Being Overbearing

The biggest risk with book club rules is that they make the experience feel bureaucratic rather than fun. Here are strategies to keep it light:

Frame rules as agreements, not mandates. Say "Let's agree on a few things" rather than "Here are the rules."
Co-create them. Don't present a finished charter—bring a draft and let the group discuss, modify, and vote on each item.
Keep them short. A charter should fit on one page. If it doesn't, you're over-regulating.
Enforce with humor, not authority. If someone goes on a long tangent, a playful "I'm invoking the three-minute rule!" is more effective than a stern correction.
Revisit annually. Rules that worked for a new group may not serve a mature one. Check in each year and adjust.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are standard book club rules?

Standard book club rules cover five areas: book selection (how books are chosen, typically by rotation or voting), meeting logistics (frequency, duration, attendance expectations), discussion conduct (respect for all opinions, spoiler etiquette, balanced participation), hosting duties (space, refreshments, rotation), and membership (how to join, how to leave, maximum size). Most clubs keep their rules informal and conversational rather than legalistic.

How do you set up book club guidelines?

The best approach is to draft a short set of proposed guidelines and present them to the group at your first or second meeting. Let members discuss, modify, and vote on each point so everyone has ownership. Cover the essentials—book selection method, meeting frequency, spoiler policy, and attendance expectations—and keep it to one page. Review and update the guidelines annually as the group's needs evolve.

What happens if someone always shows up without reading the book?

This is one of the most common book club challenges. Most clubs agree that members are welcome to attend even if they haven't finished, since their participation still adds value. However, if a member consistently doesn't read over several months, the organizer should have a private, kind conversation. The member may be busy, struggling with the selections, or losing interest—understanding the reason helps the group find a solution, whether that's adjusting the reading pace, reconsidering book choices, or accepting a graceful departure.

Should book clubs have a charter?

A charter is not strictly necessary, but it significantly reduces misunderstandings and helps onboard new members. It doesn't need to be formal—a simple one-page document covering selection method, meeting logistics, discussion etiquette, and membership expectations is sufficient. Clubs that operate on unspoken norms often run into conflict when assumptions differ between members. A written charter creates a shared reference point that makes resolving disagreements easier.

Book Club Rules: The Complete Guide to Setting Expectations