Do not punish me for the words I write

This book is about me talking to God, or rather being mad at him, trying to figure out what is the point of him allowing me to suffer? Just things I think or are going through, even when I'm reading something and it rubs me the wrong way, I question it, I just write it out to God, and really tell him what I am thinking and feeling, he knows are thoughts already, so you might as well be upfront about it and get it all out, I feel he wants us to be upfront and honest about it, I think like this all the time, then I have the nerve to pray and say how much I Love him? And in the back of my mind, I'm thinking you were just talking bad about him now you all bowed down before him talking about how much you love him? Writing it out has helped me a lot in understanding him, or I should say him helping me to know who I am in him, all he wants is us to love/trust in him that's it nothing else, when we get to that level in him, when these kind of thoughts come up, we can just brush them away like swatting at a fly!