I Hate Myself and Want to Die

Let the shiny happy people have their love songs because we all know it's the sad songs that say so much. With a heavy heart and a tear in his beer, Tom Reynolds examines songs that have crushed our spirits over the years. He listened to 200 versions of "Send in the Clowns". He listened to everything the Cure ever recorded. He listened to countless tales of shipwrecks, plane wrecks and emotional train wrecks. Songs of Xmas so woeful that they'd make Santa Claus reach for the Prozac. There's a real difference between a sad song and a depressing one. For the record, when you're feeling melancholy, you'll gravitate towards a sad song that will give you comfort; a depressing song is one that comes out of the blue and, no matter what mood you're in, it ruins your day! From the "she-hates-me-so-I-hate-her" rants (like Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart") to songs that try to be really profound and touching but really suck (like "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester), as well as those horrifying remakes of already depressing songs - what you just heard - "All By Myself" by Celine Dion a The list is long and painful. This is a book to appeal to the music critic in all of us. It's a must-have compilation of limb-gnawing masterpieces of melodic misery and will sit in a gorgeous counter pack and be THE gift book for 2005. Think of the success of LEMON but set to music. So, send in the clowns, don't cry out loud, have a total eclipse of the heart and some seasons in the sun. Tell Laura I love her, in the air tonight, but Ruby don't take your love to town. The End* (by The Doors, of course!)