Finding Himself

Matthew was raised by a profoundly religious Mexican mother and Anglo father. When in his twenties, he believes he has been called by God to embark on a mission to spread the gospel among the indigenous Tarahumaras in northern Chihuahua, Mexico. He leaves behind his family and sweetheart, Dotty, to walk "like Jesus walked." He also hitchhikes through the remote southern New Mexico desert and the rugged Sierra Madre into the Copper Canyon area. Matthew befriends Jesus and stays with his family, working with him in the field by day and engaging in long conversations at night. They discuss folk beliefs, the Tarahumara religion, and philosophy. Matthew's faith begins to waver and he finds himself in a sea of ambiguity. Following a dramatic change of mind, heart, and soul, he decides to return home to orient his strange emerging self. On the way, he has a run-in with drug traffickers and kills one of them; he is mugged twice and loses his faith in the goodness of mankind; his financial resources diminish, compelling him to collaborate in a robbery. In short, his life becomes what before his journey would have been virtually unthinkable. Physically drained, when he is back home and sees Dotty, he can do no more than weakly whisper her name, leaving the novel open to multiple interpretations.