I Could Be Wrong, But...: Featuring Essays from the Kindle Books: Happy Accidents, Inside My 3-Pound Universe, Resistance Is Futile! and X Marks the Spot

Quietly hilarious and deceptively meaningful essays that explore the irony in ordinary events. 

Whether we're getting a cup of coffee (HURRY UP AND WAIT), or choosing a bumper sticker for our car (MEAN PEOPLE SUCK), or parenting (DANCING IN THE STREETS), or brushing our teeth (BLACK TEETH AND BUBONIC PLAGUE), there are happy accidents, both ridiculous and sublime, happening around us.

In HAPPY ACCIDENTS you will meet a buxom tattoo-covered barista, a 7-year-old boy giving dance lessons at a bus stop, dentists and Volvo mechanics sending their kids off to Harvard, a confused divorcee, and George of the Jungle--all going about their ordinary day while wrestling with deep philosophical questions, such as, "Is the world round, or flat?"

In this collection of essays attempts to answer A Really Big Question --
"In the wrestling match called Life, each time we get Head Locked, Bitch Slapped, and Samoan Dropped to the mat--Why do we get back up?"

These quirky essays  go off on surprising tangents--grabbing us by the collar and insisting we go along for explorations of everything from the excitement of discovering the art of leaving (RUNNING AWAY) to the bitter-sweetness of parenting (FOR MY COLLECTION), to learning how to drive a sofa (FENG SHUI THIS, BUB!) to the shocking discovery of the Purpose of Life (QUO VADIS, DUDE?).

The fast-moving, sardonic dialogue of HOW WOULD BUDDHA DRIVE? explores the mystery, How can a guy meditate blissfully, then drive like a mad man? In the memoir piece, IF I HAD A HAMMER, we ride along with an intense, erratic college student as he pilots a motorcycle through a snowstorm in Maine, on his way to make a life-changing purchase. And before we know it, we have passed with him through Manhattan's Alphabet City and East Village, San Francisco's Nob Hill, and come to a stop a dozen years later somewhere on a suburban porch in Portland, Oregon. 

In the set piece, KILROY WAS HERE, we start off with a not-too-bright kid growing up in Connecticut but certain he's being raised by a cult of koan-dispensing Zen masters. Yet, by the end of the journey, we wonder if that not-too-bright kid may have had it right, after all. Then it's off to nibbling stale cheese and guzzling cheap read wine at a literary event, in the essay, IN MY OPINION, which somehow manages to tie up  in a neat little bundle, being a writer, receiving angry emails, drinking organic coffee, and learning how to use an AK-47 assault rifle. Talk about mood swings! 

In these fast and furiously funny essays we ride shotgun as David Boyne arrives in a new city and is given a map by a mysterious stranger (X MARKS THE SPOT), or reads his email (GRUDGE HOLDING LETTER BOMBING SHIT LISTERS), or strains to curb his inherited gene of East Coast sarcasm as he mixes it up with goofy new-age Californians (IT'S ALL GOOD, ADVENTURES IN THE LAND OF THE LOTUS EATERS). We breeze down a wacky detour back to high school (WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!) but then take a wrong turn and find ourselves lost in the woods (JUST PASSING THROUGH). We will stand with our ironic guide on the rim of the Grand Canyon (FAST MOVING HIGH FOLLOWED BY LINGERING DEPRESSION), and ride a bike with him through grid-locked Manhattan (PAST PRESENT FUTURE), and drive a sick child to the emergency room (BREATHING LESSONS), and explore the meaning of a Japanese obituary (EITHER AND OR).

And after this wild, bumpy, exhilarating, sardonic odyssey through the ordinary, we will look up and find -- that we are right back where we started. The world around us is exactly the same as when we left it. 

But we're not.